Movember.
Joel Atuhaire:
As a man, people, friends, family, and relatives will often ask, “How’s school? How’s the business?” all kinds of mundane questions, and I am not saying they shouldn’t be asked at all, but as a man, how many times are you often asked if you are happy? I am privileged to have a friend who, once in a while, can ask me that but I have been so programmed to the conditioning of society on the thesis and what it entails to be a man that I never know how to answer that question. Well, it comes off as an easy one, a probably yes or no kind of thing. It is quite daunting to answer when asked, and I can bet that I am not the only one who faces a challenge with this. Have you ever asked yourself what happiness feels like to you? Have you experienced it before, and is mental health all about happiness? Most people assume that mental health is for those with mental sicknesses and disorders but it goes beyond that, mental health to me is a muscle that you have to keep working out, or else you’ll lose all your gains, that’s if you have any, and mental health for a man is a very grey area to explore because, unlike men, women are very social creatures. Women encourage each other through sharing, and that’s how female psychology works. To them, sharing and listening is not a sign of weakness but a form of strength. For a man, it is quite the opposite. We don’t talk about problems because our psychology is quite different. For a typical man, everything is solution-oriented, as articulated perfectly by John Gray in his book ‘Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus.’ Imagine you are really broke, and you call your boy. The things that will most probably go into his mind are solutions on how to help you get the money or fix the atrocity. If they know they can’t, that’s the end of the story. I am not saying that is a bad thing, but at times talking to a friend even though they are not offering the solution makes the situation lighter. It is this solution-based mindset(Mr. Fixer) that is growing like a disease, eating up men and worsening their mental health and I am not an exception.
Recently, I moved from an area and building where all my friends resided. It was a bold move because no one expected it, but in my deepest thoughts, I told myself that I was doing it to become a better man. That is when it dawned on me that mental health is not in any way a trivial matter. I was losing it. I had only myself to confide in, or so I had been told, and that wasn’t working. I was not sleeping well. The food tasted mundane, the movies were no longer as interesting, and all the simple pleasures became boring. I had to make a conscious effort to visit friends, talk to them, and put myself in uncomfortable situations by sharing with trusted people some of the things I was going through, and it all became lighter.
It is important to remember that, as a man/human being, there is no shortage of problems. The world is inherently filled with atrocities and this is backed up by the Bible. Life wasn’t made to be easy but hard, that’s the cosmos’s default setting. At any one time the chaos from underneath(‘tehom’) can emerge from beneath and swallow you whole, and this can be through betrayal by a friend, by a loved one, or the death of a loved one. According to Dante’s Inferno, that’s the last level of hell because when any of the above happens, you question the reality of your life. You can no longer recognize the person you loved and thought was the one, worse still, you fail to recognize yourself. “Maybe I am stupid after all, maybe that’s why I only attract toxic people,” you think to yourself. You wonder how gullible you could have been to miss what was right in front of you. It is important to ask yourself as a man, where can you optimally set yourself up so that when this chaos emerges, you will not drown but will instead be able to embrace the burden of being.
In my experience, it is only through profound love. This could be family or a loved one because then you have someone to confide in and share your problems with. When we talk about something, we become self-aware and that’s the first step to treating any disease. It also encourages you to embrace the burden of being and most importantly to take up responsibility.
Responsibility is a big cure for a man’s mental health, but it must be voluntary responsibility. What makes us humans is our self-consciousness, which we acquired after eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. Being self-conscious is to know all your flaws, faults, and how damaged you are exactly because you have first-hand evidence of what being a human being feels like and evidence of what it’s like being you. With responsibility, you realize that even as useless, fragile, damaged, and flawed as you are, you can carry this burden (whatever it may be, taking care of a loved one, getting married, having a child, etc.) and begin to build rapport with yourself. You begin to trust yourself, and you start to believe you can take on even more and achieve anything you want. Adapting responsibility is not that hard. You can decide to start by cleaning your room. If that’s too hard, you could go as low as laying your bed. Well, the goal here is to accomplish anything as small as it can be, that which you know you can achieve. From that, you build humility to face the ultimate challenge.
With young men, this works tremendously well because you watch their faces light up when they are told that they can take on a certain amount of responsibility/burden, and their lives begin to change for the better. They exclaim, “Really? Wow!” because no one has told them that before, and I get it. Young men are not educated enough. Society has tried to suppress their masculinity so that they can go through life vaguely, but that’s wrong! The best question to ask yourself as a young man is, are you ready to take on the world’s burdens and be formidable, or would you rather be vague and useless? Because those are the alternatives!
Men’s mental health is dying, and the best place for them and us to start is by taking on responsibility and having a profound love in our lives. Anything that makes you want to get up in the morning, even on your worst days, and be able to embrace the burden of being. In your mind, it will eventually be worth it. Like Nietzsche said, “He who has a why? can handle any how,’ and that is a good thing to keep at the back of your head. Life will get tough, and evil days are bound to happen, so you need something in your life that makes you want to embrace the burden of being. Avoid impulsive pleasures while you are at it!!
If you were waiting for a sign, this is it. Get a haircut, clean your room, surround yourself with good people, and most importantly, do what you say you are going to do. Self-deceit is the worst because you need to be able to trust yourself when chaos emerges. If you are not sure you will achieve the task, don’t be too proud and start small. You can even start by only cleaning your desk that day or even moving the vacuum cleaner to your room for the day, and that is something not in any way trivial! The best thing for your mental health is to accumulate as many achievements as possible, no matter how small or insignificant you may think they are. I don’t know if you expected that I was going to tell you to relax, go out and party, eat a burger or something like that. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but that’s not it! Mental health is important and requires a long-term solution.
Happy men’s mental health month!!!
Angel Nantege:
As a woman, I will never be able to understand the life of a man. I can only speculate based on what I see on TV or read about in books. The ideal man is the man who wakes up early in the morning to hunt for food for his family. He is faced with many challenges and is antagonized by the world, but everything he does is for the family (yes, I stole this from Fast and Furious). He is the ultimate pillar of strength and the foundation on which the entire household is built. As the times have changed, the roles played by both men and women have also changed. Strength has no longer been associated with just the male gender, but the ability of any individual male or female to persevere and rise through adversity.
My definition of a man, if I am allowed to define it, is first and foremost, a human. What the books and television fail to bring out is the human behind these roles we have placed on the men in our lives. It’s more about what men can do for us and not about what we can also do for them as humans with their own wants and needs. Everyone, by virtue of the fact that we’re human, needs kindness, love, and space to make mistakes and grow into who they want to be instead of who the world tells them to be. They need an environment that allows them to be human, to be sad or angry or happy in a way that is unique to them, and that is not ridiculed or villainized by the world around them.
I was watching an episode of To My Sisterhood, and one of the hosts asked a question about the men we would love to surround ourselves with. He asked, ‘Who does he listen to, because if he doesn’t listen to anyone, then that means he is the God in that relationship or friendship and that’s the end of that relationship.” I believe that so many of us, women included would benefit from the power of mentorship. Instead of battling with things alone, we can seek guidance from God and from the other leaders He has placed in our lives. A man understands that learning never ends and that we should always humble ourselves to be students from those who have gone before us.
In the month of November especially, I must add that a man is one who looks after his health. Movember is an annual movement in November to raise awareness for men’s health issues — particularly prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health, and suicide prevention. Founded in 2003 in Melbourne, Australia, it started as a lighthearted effort to “bring back the mustache,” with a group of friends deciding to grow mustaches as a conversation starter.
Since then, it’s become a global phenomenon, with millions of “Mo Bros” and “Mo Sisters” participating each year.
You owe it to yourself first to look after your body and your mind before you can look after those around you. The heart of Movember is about fostering a culture where men feel comfortable discussing health openly, while also promoting overall wellness. The movement has grown from a fun social challenge to a profound global cause, inspiring people to advocate for and protect men’s health worldwide.
As Probono Uganda, we encourage you to put your health first and look out for your bros.
1. Schedule a Health Check-Up
- Early detection saves lives. Use this month to get a comprehensive check-up that includes screenings for prostate health, blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels.
2. Stay Active
- Aim for 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise each week. Whether it’s a walk, bike ride, or gym session, staying active keeps the heart healthy, boosts mood, and reduces stress.
3. Prioritize Mental Health
· Take time to check in with yourself and open up about your feelings. Even a quick chat with a friend, family member, or counselor can have a significant impact on mental well-being.
4. Fuel Your Body with Good Nutrition
· A balanced diet rich in whole foods, lean protein, and lots of veggies keeps energy levels up and reduces the risk of chronic illnesses. November is a great time to experiment with healthy recipes.
5. Grow a Mo for Movember
· Growing a mustache (or just talking about Movember) can open up conversations about men’s health and help raise awareness.
6. Set Small Wellness Goals
· Pick one or two health goals that are realistic and trackable. Whether it’s drinking more water, reducing screen time, or limiting alcohol, small steps add up to meaningful change.
7. Get Enough Sleep
· Aim for 7–9 hours of quality sleep each night. Good sleep boosts immune function, mental clarity, and emotional resilience.
8. Check Your Testicular Health
· Self-exams can help catch testicular cancer early, which is more common in younger men. Regular self-exams can make a big difference and take only a minute.
9. Connect with Friends and Family
· Good relationships are essential for emotional health. Take the time to connect with loved ones, whether through a phone call, a coffee catch-up, or even a group activity.
This Movember, these steps can be a great way to build healthy habits that last beyond the month!
